Spoiled Without Shame

9 12 2010

I’m notoriously bad at picking boyfriends. I seem to really exceed at choosing to fall for men that will be ridiculously wrong for me. Ask anyone who’s known me for the past 10 years. They will whole heartedly agree. Start with my mother, she will have alot to say on the matter.  I know I’m not alone in this affliction.  Many of my sex seem to be making the same mistakes I have.  Bad boys, emotionally retarded men, men still in love with someone else, men who can’t commit…the list goes on.

This post will not be a trashing of men, or even of my ex-boyfriends.  In fact several of them will probably read this and either agree with me or , know that this isn’t about them. Instead this post is about the other side of the fence.

It’s taken me quite awhile to figure out a big secret about myself. Being a lady, I won’t admit to how many years but let’s just say I’m a slow learner. The secret is something my aforementioned mother told me many times over. But of course, she was an idiot for the first 20 years of my life and knew nothing. Now she’s one of the smartest people I know and I’m not sure how that changed overnight.  Anyways…back to the secret.

I, Glenna, am a beautiful, amazing, talented, special child of God and absolutely worthy of being adored and loved and sought after. I don’t have to settle for less than I deserve.  I don’t have to feel shame or guilt about wanting these things.  It doesn’t mean I want to live in a fairy tale or that I’m not realistic. It just means I know that I don’t have to be with someone who isn’t absolutely crazy about me .

So I’m not. Ever again.

For the last couple months I’ve been dating a guy. (this post will likely embarrass him) It’s still fun and new and exciting. But the absolute best part of it is, he spoils me. In all the ways that count. Not with gifts or silly words, but with his time, the way he looks at me, the fact that I never question whether he thinks I’m beautiful or special, and his thoughtfulness.  ( Oh and he lets me eat a strawberry sundae for dinner without blinking an eye )

Do I know what the future holds for us? No, it’s early and that is ok. But no matter what comes, I’m ever in debt to him for the reaffirmation of my mothers promise to me. That one day, someone would come along and make me believe these things about myself.

I’m spoiled, I deserve it and I like it.

Here is another thing. My secret? It’s the same for all of you. Just ask my mom.




2 responses

9 12 2010

That made me cry. Love it! And your mother is a very smart woman!

13 01 2011

Ditto what Rachael said. And you’re a pretty smart cookie yourself.

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